he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
