if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Randomize
