At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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