I think I just saw someone hide a body.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
