she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
