i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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