Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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