i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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