I'm going to jail i love you
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
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