i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
This house was built for laser tag.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Bring me that man meat
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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