I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
