Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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