turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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