Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
