i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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