Duck Duck Cougar?
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
is wine microwaveable?
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
