dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
