I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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