I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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