He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
