May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
