i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
