I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
