Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
her facebook's as public as her vagina
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
