4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize