In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
