FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
