Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
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