Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
