Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
