youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Michael Bay diarrhea
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
