Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
