pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
