White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize