Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
