I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize