Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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