Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
