eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
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