dude i'm inner monologue high
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
