You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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