I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
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