PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Randomize
