Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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