I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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