She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
