At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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