you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
