Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
