if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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