How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
