I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
