Pants 0. Shit 1.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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