Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
