Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
