So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
