idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
