I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
