My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
