it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
