I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Randomize
