So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
