All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
