Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize