He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
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