I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize