He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
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